Go big, go small, but go, with Chris McDonald

‘Go big, go small, but go’ is a call to action to help people see a path out of the despair and helplessness so many are feeling around the world right now. We can all contribute, in big ways or small, and sometimes it’s just about taking that courageous first step and getting started. 

Delighted to have my friend Chris McDonald join me today, to share something “small” he did recently, that will have a massive impact on the lives he touched. Those lives are our sons, and other children in our community. It’s been such a beautiful experience for all of the families involved, watching our children excel and stretch themselves to the limit, as well as the beginning of their journey towards self-respect and excellence in all they do. I wanted to capture the passion behind what went down, as well as my gratefulness to Chris for doing it. 

I hope it inspires an idea in you to contribute in your own way – big or small - and collectively, we make the world a better place #UncommonCourage 

You can find me Andrea T Edwards | The Digital Conversationalist and Welcome - Uncommon Courage - An Invitation. 

My book Uncommon Courage, an invitation, is here https://mybook.to/UncommonCourage 

My book 18 Steps to an All-Star LinkedIn Profile, is here https://mybook.to/18stepstoanallstar 

Transcript

This is AI generated and will be imperfect.

Welcome to uncommon courage, the podcast where we'll be having the conversations we need to be having as members of the human collective. I'm your host, Andrea Edwards. And today, I'm really excited to introduce you to a friend of mine, Chris McDonald, who's many, many things, but he's a former MMA fighter, a hotel GM. But he recently did something. And while he did it on a smaller scale, it was a really meaningful contribution. And this is something that I'm really passionate about encouraging everybody to make the contribution that they can make, so that we can all collectively make the world a better place. Anyway, so I'll leave I'll leave you here for now. And looking forward to introducing you to chris
dodd to say
hello, my lovelies, thanks for joining in. I'm excited about today's podcast, the title is go small bit go. And obviously the podcast will explain what that's all about. But I'm super excited to have my friend and someone who I can consider an ambassador in our family life, but as well as the community here in Phuket. And that is Chris de badman, McDonald's. Welcome, Chris. Thank you. Thanks for having me. That's good. So there's a chance that we're going to take two pieces out of each other because we do that a lot in normal life is likely more than likely. So it won't be hopefully it won't be boring. I can't imagine us to having a conversation is never boring.
Chris, you've got a very, very interesting background. So I figured before we really get into the guts of what we want to talk about today. You're not just a GM for hotels in Phuket or elsewhere, but you're a former MMA fighter, as well. So take us back to the beginning. Give us the Irish story. And then let's move move through it. Yeah, so obviously growing up and buying girl in Ireland, it's a it's a little tough. I played every sport. I was just one of those kids that you know, I caught my primary school football high school. I played rugby, they give you a ball. You just wanted to compete a lot like a lot of kids right here. Yeah. So like I said, growing up in Ireland was was
a lot of good coaching and stuff like that. A lot of good mentors that to move you forward. And yeah, so that was that and then I moved into I my mother sent me to America for two years, because she thought I could be doing better with myself and put myself to more better use. So I did an internship out there where again, I started getting into all the American sports, whether it be in basketball, American football, again, trying to compete at a high level, and then we're not finished I came back to Ireland. As you know, I met Carl in America, my wife, she was Jamaican, I went to Jamaica for a bit came back and back and forth. And then I stayed in Ireland where I took up MMA just as a hobby, because I was playing football at a pretty good level. At that stage. We actually played for an amateur league team that was third division and we won the one of the biggest trophies in Northern Ireland, just with a bit of camaraderie and teamwork, and then I broke my ankle playing for them. And I told my mother I would take up something safer, and I ended up doing MMA also explain what MMA is. So MMA is mixed martial arts so it's it's everything would be wrestling to boxing to kickboxing you use for old school
they they put it in a cage it looks worse than it actually does. You know I fought a couple of times and rings and stuff. But I just remember when I used to grew up in Ireland I had a one of my best friends his father used to box for the police.
He was such a good mentor to me such a such a good guy and he taped me and his son up to the police force put the gloves on us and I realized it was for me it was just another sport that you have to be good at right? But I sort of had the boxing background with that and a lot of my best friends were boxers
Yeah, so I got into MMA from there I started in talamantes gym in Northern Ireland that everyone feared or like you go in there No, no you never get out nested had such a stigma about it, which doesn't have I don't think any more everyone considers it a sport.
So then I ended up
finishing with my football team, my leg. Man did finish up with MMA and I moved to Jamaica for a job to be with Korea. And I thought that was it. And then I got a phone call from Trinidad said hey, we've got some fights going on down here. We'd love you to come down and compete. And so I had no
nothing going on in Jamaica at a time from an aspect of gyms or people to train with. So I started
My own gym called team dungeon, which was on the beach with no fans, no AC, you just trained in the heat. And it all really from that time. So I, I'd work all day, at my job at the at a hotel, I get up six o'clock in the morning, I do my runs, and I train at night and I trained a lot of people at nighttime as well. And I was just a no kids at a time. So I was I wouldn't get home, I'd leave six o'clock wouldn't get home to nine o'clock. And then I started the gym from there started training the national Taekwondo team in Jamaica, who started then they were just super talented, just just again, on our thing, stuff that people don't know that's there, you know. And the career just took off from there. I just, I went down to Trinidad, I went my first fight, they asked me to fight for the belt just after my second fight. I won that. And then I was champion of the Caribbean for like five years in two different weight classes. And then it all kicked in, the sponsors come in and started to fly me places to Ireland, Scotland, China, all these places to compete.
You know, if this was on video, we could obviously show everyone your guns, you're very proud of it. Every chance he gets he sort of pops out those biceps, it's hard to hide them.
It's a curse.
Or a blessing. perspective.
Anyway, my boys are now popping their biceps. It's like Oh, God, third generation of men. So we have a lot of bodybuilding in heritage in my family. So I used to go to the supermarket with my dad as a teenager and he he be doing the bicep curls as he was reaching out for the spring.
Yeah, I couldn't keep them on.
Anyway, I do like a muscle on a man.
Yeah, so you were doing that you're obviously also working as a GM for hotels, but you're also unbelievably competitive. I mean, you never stop. I'm here about playing tennis still, to this day in your sort of, you know, you're not getting any younger adults. So yeah, yeah. The the injuries are starting to sort of pop up right and frustrating. How did how does the man transition through through that time? You know, like moving beyond injury from from that youthful strength? Do you have to struggle? Right? Yeah. I mean, even right now, I have three herniated discs in my neck. So I find it odd to sleep in certain positions. And they said the only way to fix it is operate on your spine. And I'm like, No, you're not going to do that. With a lot of good people hear like Stefan from who used to work at Tanya Pura. He really helped me with my knees and stuff as I was getting older and strengthened around the muscles and the injuries that were weak. So that was a big eye opener for me. And then just obviously, not Did you feel your body diminishing, but it really hasn't been that big a transition for me, you know, a lot of fighters, when they finish, they have nothing to move forward to whenever I retired at my first son. So it's like I had this whole love and all this time for competing training, which I absolutely love, which was a lifestyle for me to then my son was born. And I've never ever felt the love like that in my life. I was able to transition so quickly to where I still competed, I got into these tennis tournaments here, which is seniors. And, you know, I still like I hate losing, I always try and give my best. And, you know, I'm like a lot of these kids, you know that, you know, sometimes you got to tell them, they can't do it. So they do. So I haven't really find that hard, I still work out every day, I still you know, try and compete, I still go to Nando down in Sioux time, boy Ty has Gracie Barra gym and roll every Saturday with the boys down there and jujitsu and still do some boxing and just to limit the, you know, the sparring, to getting hits to the head and stuff and just basically, you know, the cardio aspect. But I've had such a good base here in Thailand, have good friends that I work out with as well. It's been good and watching the next generation and realize and perhaps now you need to you know, pay it forward and start giving back a little bit to the kids and, and start trying to light a fire under them that they can do something pretty special, you know, and find out recently quite inspiring and something I've really enjoyed seeing that name and the change, you know.
So I think both of us have had that sort of heritage of community that we grew up in that really sort of supported us. For me mainly it was through the music community. You know, there was a guy called bill Youngson who was this incredible conductor who turned up in this small town from England and he certainly took our band from being a shambles to being a be great champion band, which was unheard of at the time. And really like he gave me so much time and then later, this guy called Doug Trotman, they both pass it now but you know, he really invested in me as well and I had a lot of people that invested in me in my pack. My family went wealthy said they couldn't afford those sort of lessons, right. So I have a lot of people from my childhood that I'm very grateful to to including my dad, who you know, he was the one that was really passionate and I
I just wanted to join him in whatever he was doing racing bikes, going to the gym, whatever, racing in the mountains, you know, just, I think especially as experts, we you know, we're both being away from our home countries for such a long time. That's one of the struggles within the expat communities. Where do you find, you know, we don't have the uncles that can step in, and the friends in the community and I think one of the beauties of Phuket is we do have this extraordinary community of people from all walks of life, you know, so many different backgrounds, professions, skills. And then so anyway, a few months ago, we reached out to you and asked if you'd be interested in teaching the boys goes, I have a belief that I've got to get my boys prepared for the future. And obviously, their education is an important part of that. But when you look at, you know, what potentially is coming with the climate crisis, I actually think there's some other things that are important, like the ability to plant food, that knowledge is important, but also the ability to fight and protect yourself is going to be an important skill. So we reached out to you and and it's been phenomenal. And then I know a whole bunch of other people started reaching out and you started all you having all these kids coming to you, which then built up to being the better you camp. So we're all stuck here. in Phuket, we couldn't go anywhere. COVID on the rampage around the world, most of us made the decision to stay put because we're in a pandemic. And you basically decided you're going to came up with this idea for a camp called the better you can. And you had 14 kids in the end. Yeah, yeah. What give us give us your thinking behind why you did it.
Just because of my kids are five and seven here. And I just wanted to I wanted to a bit better. You know, I spoke to you, whether it's you know, some teachers on the island some coaches on the island, you know, and stuff, you know, they're like, you know, yeah, they're playing football, but you know, they're doing it twice a week or this is it, you know, that they're not going to really, you know, they're they're not going to get anything from this really coming down the line because you look at all these other countries that are doing it 100% at a time and you know, under there, maybe training more. First of all, I don't think that's overly true just purely because the world's changed a lot with the iPad and how much kids sit in now. It's not just this country it's it's other country, Northern Ireland the same way and you know, Northern Ireland, it's freezing over there. You don't want to go out and play football or train in the mud, but we did it. So there's no excuses here where, you know, we're live we're living in a society here with weather, the weather, it's either sunny or the rain, but it's still very hot. So you could have looked at us and you know, I said okay, with my son's not gonna make it just show me his times then show me his times compared to last week to this week. Show me his stats. Show me what suits Show me what you've done with him as an individual. Not just there's the bolo guys do these some skills hidden to the goal. Show me more. And
it really played on me for a long time and it has been playing on me because I was with kiddies, kids I'm like, you know, I love that idea. And Paquette is great for me and my wife, but I'm not really giving my kids the best opportunities here. And it doesn't come from sport. I believe in sport, you have so much opportunity to teach discipline, respect, honor, timekeeping, all this stuff. It's, it's also the better you can't, it was never about let's make these kids better at sport is never about that. It's like, let's get them an attitude. Let's show them what they can do. And from the first week, they all came and a lot of them didn't want to come back the second week. But then I showed them their times on the second week. And not one of them.
I think there's actually just maybe two times out of the whole 14 people or two five different exercises that were worse than the week before. And that was just due to preparation, which we which we adjusted on the way through. So we ended up getting these times of well this kits faster. No, you know what I'm getting? I've got I got another kid come to me that unbelievable footballer, and he's in the camps over here. But I'm like, I don't think your cardio is where you think it needs to be like, you know, to play professional sports. Yes, it's good being the best football or in your school, or this, this and this, but is your cardio where it's supposed to be? You know, so we just tested the kids over this whole week period. If the rain came, if the storm came, we would go out if it was sunny, we would go out. And there was no excuses. And I was really surprised that the the backing I got from the parents, like really, really surprised because I find here it's a culture of
Yeah, we'll join up next time or you know, we'll leave it to next week the rains coming and you know, say the boys don't really want to do it, or the girls don't really want to do. I said it's not a bike that I mean, like if you want to, if you want to be good in the classroom, if you want to be good in your job, you got to work hard at everything. And this was really a nun experiment, but just to camp to say, liquids your kids did.
Why are they not getting this every week? You know if you know, from an aspect of I'm not saying them, test them every week in school.
I'm not saying that are in their in their comps or whatever gyms they go to, but I'm saying test them every month. Let them this is your fastest score. Let's see over this month if you can beat that score, and then they'll come home to their parents, you're not going to believe what I earned, you're not gonna believe what I did. And they start them believe in themselves a lot more. You probably get more kids on the camaraderie out a lot of kids as well didn't like each other and to come. But you know yourself when you're part of a team. It's they're your best friends when you're playing the game. Because if there's any trouble in that pitch you you look after your teammates. So I said I don't matter It doesn't matter. But if you don't like this guy, you're here to work. And you're here to focus on yourself and your own times. I don't know it's just really a account the shoe hire really how easy it is of us have the if you just have the right attitude and you know, the right not person, but I brought in a lot of coaches as well that are, you know, a renowned for treating, you know, George Hickman had world champions in his comp. You know, when he used to work at tiger, Muay Thai, you know, he's a UFC coach, you know, Nando down and Sue tiger, Gracie Barra suto muy Thai that started his Brazilian Jiu Jitsu from scratch. I remember for months, he only had three people. Now he's got a whole team. And it just shows you, you know, they build and they build and his thing is attitude. Same as mine. I took your boys, I like boys, if I hear your fight in school, or causing any nonsense, I said, you won't be come back to me. That's just fine.
They say what about if someone starts with us, I said, you have the opportunity to walk away or go, do your teacher make a better you also have your parents, you can always talk that out. I always get that thing. But as long as you're coming to me, that's not it. Because you're going to get all the hard work here. You're going to get it people used to say to me, Well, you did cage fighting. Were you fighting all the time? I'm like, I'm like, No, I used to get hit in the gym from Monday to Friday and work my ass off from Monday to Friday. And the last thing I wanted when I was socializing was to be a pair store, start fights with people was probably the nice one of the nicest guys you ever meet and say, Hey, you know, I just want to I just wanted to have a drink or just wanted to, you know, get around different people that weren't in the gym all week, you know. And like I said, it really started from there. I used to, I used to teach stuff, basketball and American football, the running rights and the discipline of what you have to do this speed when you turn around a ball is going to be there. So there was a lot of agility training for the kids as well. sharpness training, unbelievably, right rose to the occasion. You know, a lot of kid that
was a he was as an athlete, he was he was probably middle of the road. And as of last week with us in touch rugby scored three tries, you know, and then his cardio went up, you know, yearly, way over, you know, nearly 200%, when you can't do what he did from the first week to the he stayed in for six weeks for the sixth week. And was just the belief and the showing difference of the times what we can do in the schools and the clubs, and just really individualizing these kids. No team has 11 christianna where now you have a goalkeeper, you have a defender that that stops the ball through and then you have a midfielder that wins the ball for Cristiano Ronaldo. And I just think we need to do a better job here of individualizing the kids on their skills, because your boy Jax is actually a very good football. And I thought, Oh, he's pumping people around and winning the ball in midfield, always wants to play, always wanted to play touch rugby. And I've seen difference in these kids when they started giving them 100%. But also realizing what position they play, and what they're good at, and then making them better at that position. Don't say you're not going to go over to the right now you're going to stay on the left. This is where you are. And because we're we're on this island and this is it, we're just going to concentrate on this position. And you never know you might make it just an opposition. So the data from earlier the other the other thing that really stood out for me is so the skills and I didn't know Jack's was a good footballer. He hates it. So he's never been interested in it, which is always surprised me. But it was the effort though it was the effort when you saw train. It was the effort with him. Yeah, he had the dexterity, you know, that was it. Whereas I think Lexi's probably a little bit more like me. He's more of a solo sports man rather than than a team sports man. I think that's ultimately the path you'll go on. But I'll talk about links in a minute. But one of the other things that really stood out to me so one of the benefits I got from my childhood was and then also when I joined the army was getting to my limits and then going beyond them and knowing that, that I could do that. You know, I remember one bike ride I did with my dad, we were about 20 minutes out of these town and I lost all of my energy. I just, I had no fuel left in my body. And my dad coaxed me for 20 minutes into this town and we finally got there in over heels and stuff. Got to a bakery had a meat pie and a milkshake. And then I was ready to ride like 4050 kilometers home because I had these energy in my body again. But those moments in your life, you know
They teach us so much about yourself about your own limits. And that's the other thing that you did you showed kids, how they their limits were so much further than they thought they were. And I think that's one of the most valuable things you can give kids. And it's where we're, we miss, we miss a lot in our modern society, we're not giving kids that opportunity to hit those barriers, because it's, you know, that's, that's where the real strength comes from, is character building. Yeah. Well, it's Eric, you're building and You're so right. You know, I mean, and it's funny you say that, when you when you're going through the army, you know what that training is, you know, SWAT, a couple of boys came to me that said, Hey, you know, I want to go into the forces. I said, Well, this, this will be it might not be as hard as the forces, but it'll definitely be difficult. And I think they were, you know, whoa, you know, like, this is a, this is, this is what it's going to be like I said, Yeah, you're just gonna walk up to the army knocked the door or the Marines or the Navy and say, Hey, I'm coming in. I said, No, you got to pass a certain amount of tasks, they push you to your limit. I give these kids movies as well, for homework every week, Coach Carter, Remember the Titans all kids their age, doing really, really great stuff, only from worst neighborhoods. That imaginable. You know, you have Kevin Durant NBA player who won the MVP one year. And he turned around his mother and said, You're the real MVP. And everyone says, Why did he say that? He was because my mother went starving, so we could eat? And now he's a multimillionaire, you know, so why Why can't anyone did, which was the whole process of bringing out these codes for the kids to learn the movies for them to learn? You know, I showed one of the girls in the comp gi Jan. And if you watch ghgs, the training is unbelievable. And her
I'm not sure if a cam for the movie, or just the fact that she was improving so much like this girl's fast, but all of a sudden, she was lightning, you know, from from all the training and her attitude down towards the the end of the six weeks was just, you know, she was it's all go Google Google, she she came through a little adversity during the camp, and she never let it faze her. And that's the thing you're going to have people tell you, no, you're going to have people put you down. But you've got what I told your son is, lions don't concern themselves with sheep. When you said that the other day I was I
was listening to it. And it's like, lions don't concern themselves selves with shape. It's such a powerful concept. And you said, when you know why you're doing what you're doing, you just got to keep going. And what was interesting is when you said it to Jax, I felt that message really land deeply with me to, you know, by putting myself out into the world in a bigger way, with my blog, and the podcast and everything. You know, there's there is a lot of fear that comes with that, because you can attract all sorts of bullshit. And you know, I've been attracting trolls and hate for a long time. And no one's ever threatened to rape or kill me yet, you know, but, you know, as a female.
As a female on social media, you know, that's certainly something that could come up. But I thought it was, you know, we spent a lot of time with the boys, we watched the movies with them. And then we talked to them to them about the movies afterwards and asked him what they get, because a lot of them are also dealing with issues like racism. So it gave us an opportunity to talk about stuff like that. But then also the quotes, like sitting down and interpreting the quotes with them, that they had to remember by heart, and listening to what they thought it was. And understanding they didn't quite have the maturity, the pain in life yet to really understand what those quotes meant. But they started the journey, but also hearing Steve's interpretation of the quotes versus mine, which are quite different. You know, the parents were really brought into these in so many different ways. But I think that, you know, their homework was to watch a movie, and it became something that we could all do, and then all talk about. So it was, it was beautiful. Like it was the whole experience as a parent. Like, I just want to look, I just want to say to you, like you should set up a school where you're doing this where you're bringing, you know, in the US, they've got these schools, boot camps for troubled teens. And there's all sorts of horrible stories coming out of them. These are kids are dying, they're all sorts of things that terrible things are happening. But the fundamental idea of like, you know, bringing kids into these environments, pushing them to the limit and demanding risk, not just respect, but also demanding excellence. Like you That was your message. It wasn't about the team, it was about individual excellence, and really pushing them towards that. And that's something we still, you know, we're using your words with the boys in homeschooling, because it's hard. But you know, those words have gone in those ideas of going in, and they've begun the journey, a very philosophical journey that I think what they will carry for the rest of their lives, and you gave them that. And that's why I think the parents are so grateful to you for what you did. But then stepping into the reason that I get to do this now make you you can see it the outpouring of love and respect for you. It's been beautiful and it's appreciate it. Yeah, thank you. But it goes back to the title go big, go small, but go. And one of the one of my messages that I really, I'm really pushing out there into the world is if you can see a problem in the world, whether it's in your community, so you saw a problem in the community. You didn't
The kids were getting the right education, motivation assessments around their physical activity. If you see a problem in your community, in your nation or in the world, that you have a solution for a problem that you can fix, or you can raise your voice to draw awareness to it, which is obviously the job that I I've taken on, whether you do it globally or locally, if everyone who has capability to step into their, their thing, we can change the world, you know, we can make the world up because a lot of people if they've got no hope, you know, and you know, all the news is bad. But the pandemic is getting worse, not better. And a lot of people are very, very depressed, but they're also they feeling hopeless. and despair is on the rise. A friend of mine, Tim Wade said, you know, he feels like the whole world's moved into depression. And I think the way to step out of that is to go into action. So you defined an action that you could take that would make an impact. And I think it's really important that as many of us that can we step into it, we step into the action that we can take to move the world forward in a positive way. That's how we come back from this time. That's how we rise up again. Where do you have? Yeah, for sure. I mean, I'm watching I'm watching it, just being here in Phuket, you know, like I said, I brought in Nando from su time loiter, that's doing all that's all the, the life bags for, for one per cat, you know, that guy's phenomenal, you know, looking at, you know, Shawn, and those guys and, and what they're doing. And, you know, I just, I don't know, I had, I had a big thing when I was younger, I always wanted to go to I'm not sure if you ever watched the movie, the machine gun preacher. It was with Jared Butler, and he went to Africa, they were just piling up burned bodies because of the genocide. And he had a new house, he was a preacher, he had the church there and whatever. And he was, you know, he ended up taking up a gun to defend these, this village. And then he went home. And his daughters wanted a limo for their prom. And it affected him so badly that
he's like, No, no, you can't do this was a big garden with his wife, but he ended up going back to Africa, because that's all he knew. And he knew he was making a difference. And he almost sacrificed his own family, just just their upbringing. So he could go back there because of after what he seen, you know, big things going on in the world right now. Both of Ghana, Stan, and, you know, there is real despair and stuff like that, you know, I just don't know what to say. I mean, like, obviously, you know, even if you're doing it on a very small scale, like it all comes down to you know, even with the kids the character building a mess, but you're on the loss and be so drastic and go to these countries and do whatever. But obviously, the awareness has to be rate raised. And another movie I used to watch was Hotel Rwanda always watched the African genocide just, I'm not gonna say a fast me, it was the most craziest, disgusting thing I've ever seen. And just, you know,
parts of the movie where, you know, people are watching the TV, this has happened on TV. Okay, so it's a TV off, kids get ready, we're going to school. You know, and, and I worked for a call center where we used to sell raffle tickets for African charities. Also Guide Dogs for the Blind. So we were helping blind people that as well, we'd form people up to take raffle tickets. And, you know, a lot of people weren't, they didn't like the phone calls, or you call me this time. And this time, and this, this was in the UK, you know, and I just thought to myself, you know, it's always been a thing for me, whether it's three pounds or five pounds, 10 pounds a week, to give that money over. I lived in Jamaica for a very long time, as well, there's obviously some poverty in Jamaica. And, you know, I had a whole construction team that used to,
I did the construction side of the hotel first. And I had these 25 laborers that just opened my eyes to everything, you know, they they come to work every day and dig in holes in the sun, and then they go home. And remember one of my workers his son got killed and stuff like that over and over something really small, you know, like a bit of food or something over there, I was just trying to keep these guys and work to make sure their make their money and, but also say, hey, discipline, guys, you're going to get out here, I'm going to pay you more I want you to stay here. And it was a massive, just brilliant four years for me working with these 20 to 25 guys, because each one of their personalities was just just phenomenal. Sometimes it doesn't, you know, if you have a little, it doesn't take it doesn't take away your life. You know, I just feel that like, you know, I try and be super nice here and kind here, but it's very, I don't think I'm doing my part. I will I will look at Nando and I don't think I'm doing my part at all. I mean, we got a pack and bikes thing down here. And you know, some people do stuff, I guess in different ways. But yeah, it does take everyone you know. Yeah. And that's that's the real point like you. You are, I mean first of all, by leaving your home, your safety your what you've always known that people
To view of life in Northern Ireland, and going out into the world and seeing other lives and how other people live in that story, I'd watched the story, the movie just because drowns in it.
Like, you know, that once you once you once your eyes are open, you can't close them again. Right. And that's one of the beauties. That's why people like us have been on the road for so many years. Because it's like an addiction to otherness, and yeah, but it's not just sad. It's when you can see the world through different eyes, you can have you have a different level of compassion, I believe, but and then, you know, the work we're doing is part of one Phuket, you know, some people are donating money. Some people are helping us raise awareness, some people are going down there every Saturday to pack live bags, when COVID turn on the rampage, you know, so everyone contributes in different ways. But the important thing is, we contribute in the way that is meaningful to us. So you've recently transformed 14 live. So you know, we've turned up to some social occasions, since you started working with the boys before they started working with you. We never saw them at these parties. They'd be off running around climbing things, just being kids, since they always hang around, because they want to talk to you. They want to hear what you've got to say. They're waiting for Chris's wisdom. And, yeah, they've got these incredible respect for you. And it's beautiful. And I love it. Because, you know, their dad can never be everything to them, dad, Steven, but Alfie wrote raising boys said mums got their boys until they're six dads got them to the 12. And then they belong to the world. Well, I felt like, I've never really lost my boys, but probably I've probably until about 12, I had him. And obviously Steve's a huge, huge influence in their lives, but we need other men around them to show them, you know, I'm encouraging my boys to launch a YouTube channel, not not gaming, but interviewing men to learn what it takes to be a great man. I think that would be an incredibly powerful thing for them to do from a learning perspective. But also, all these all these children around the world who don't have those sort of role models in their life who don't know a lot of single mothers desperately trying to raise kids and that our societies don't have a lot of compassion for single mothers, you know, we, you know, we, life is about community, it's not about, it's not a solo sport. And we all do what we can. And I think whatever you can do whatever gap, you can feel that you can see if you can step into it, not only will you be contributing something important, you know, our kids will remember you for the rest of their lives, right. But it's not only about that, but you know, that you will feel better. When you're contributing, you feel better. And I just want to encourage anyone who's having a listen, if you're not doing something, but you know that there's a gap that you can fill, fill it.
A lot of people are scared to start, you know, like launching a new podcast is a is a terrifying thing. But you just got to start. Yeah, but also, but also hear that, but also, you know, like, for example, I get a lot of this stuff from my own experience. But when my wife, for example, she's working for a startup, people can just do that people just can't start.
I'm not a somos, I'm not a starter. It's almost like I need to work for a company. I don't think I could ever start a company. You know, I'm not that. It's just who my personality is, you know, from that. And that being your personality. You can also help in other ways, but also help people that are doing startups. I'm not like I said, it's not as easy as the say, Hey, everybody, you know, we need to do our part. I just look at it as as in some people just don't have the personnel. And it's difficult for them. I probably want to like, just because I did this camp and the camp was for me, well, it's sports times. And I'm very interesting sports times. And I'm working with these kids that I think can do a lot better. So so that for me can very easily buffer the whole aspect of why don't I just pick up and go here and help and stuff I got there. There's always something there's always a block for me, just in my personality, where you, you have the uncommon courage, you have your boobs, you have your podcast. And to be honest, it may be scary for you, but nice people very much expected from you.
So when I say that's funny, you said today you want to come to my podcast, I thought, Oh, this is great. That'd be on and reassure whatever the day is, because your voice here, obviously and Paquette and, you know, with your books and stuff a lot further than that. So, you know, that's just a nice saying, you know, for people out there, you know, it's not, it's not as easy just to get up one day and say, Hey, we're just going to do this. But if you see people that are doing it, then perhaps you can contribute and say, Hey, this is great, and be more supportive, instead of being a sheep. Yeah, absolutely. You've got to match your personality into what you do. So what you were saying earlier, you do your job, but within the context of your job, you're you're you're providing the support structure, and then you go home from work. And then you were doing other things like running the gym in Jamaica, so you you are doing those things, but the core, the core that you use
You think is right for you is the job. So, right now you're, you're one of the gems, it's been impacted by the, you know, the economic crisis linked to the pandemic. And, but, but it is about aligning to who you are and what you've got to do. And I've got this other concept which I call the giving economy. And the idea of this you know, you watch, you know, there's a story of Jennifer Jennifer Aniston joined Instagram, and Instagram broke, like, she literally broke Instagram, so for a few minutes, or whatever, it didn't work, because the, the intensity of following her and I'm like, if people put that much energy into their friends and into their community that are doing something that they had admired, supporting them, making people aware of them, you know, sharing podcast, sharing, book review, sharing, you know, the blogs that people are writing the videos that they're doing, then you help your community rise, and we're not great at doing that for each other. But we, but we're happy to help a famous person and I always have a real struggle with that. It's like, Can you hear me? Because you know why? You know, because it makes you feel because it makes you feel good? Yeah, why don't
they do that?
Know what I'm saying, as in you, the person would support a homeless person before the support to friend, you know, because the homeless person Oh, that makes me feel good about myself. Sometimes your friend is, oh, they got themselves into the situation. You're sad earlier, for example, about single mothers, for me, probably probably the one of the hardest jobs when you've had kids, being a single mother, I couldn't even imagine, you know, like, that's just crazy to me. So, yeah, so that's the part of being a more supportive community, you know, these people that are struggling, that you know, are still your friends, you know, they're still bringing up kids as well. And this this and you got to see past you know, a lot a lot of people around here right off kids as well, you know, and
if literally, you just knew this kid situation, maybe you don't like their mother or father and you just paint them with a brush. And I was very guilty without coming into my camp with all the kids. I there was a lot of prejudgment for me, which they completely and utterly proved me wrong. But just sitting down and just listen to that kid if he had problems or this not not even anyone in my camp other kids from around here, as well, you know that that out the struggles just
just listening to them, and then saying, Hey, no, no, no, we can do it. We can do it this way, we can do it that way. And I just working with them on again, like I said, individualizing them is a is a pretty big thing and making it a bike Damn, the training of like, Damn, at 14 kids may get like, they all feel that the trainings about Damn. And that's the key. And
like I said, I've been one of them where I've prejudge people and this, this and this. And just because I was too busy at the time, you know, I'm, you know, even I'm still with dream, but dream, you know, we're closed right now. And so this is a way for me to keep busy, because I like to do that. But like you say, when it comes to work as well, like the competitive spirit, you want to be for myself, I want to be the best at everything. I want to be the best at hotels, but I have my own goals, you know, where people are saying, Do you want to start up this thing for the kids? I said, Well, I got my degree in tourism, hospitality, because I want to, because that's how I want to further myself. And I think with our friends as well. It's about furthering themselves and helping them further themselves. And then you might find the community gets a little better from that, rather than or putting each other down, or this person did this this person did. This person needs to do this, this person needs to do that. Well, if that person needs to do this and not go and talk to going let them know, I think you should do this is a way this might be a different ear for you, or a different way of looking at things. I appreciate that people come up and talk to me. And you know what, you did this with your kid. And I remember we were on holiday, we did his mocks of Haiku, the kids were coming down. It was like over a mile left. And Isaac was crying and all the other kids went to the bottom of the hill. And Carl's like you have to finish this hill. I said, Carrie, what are you doing? I said, just I'll let me get the boy you'll put on my shoulders? No, no, he's doing this. He's doing this. And after I felt really bad because my wife was character building my son. And see after that he had a great day, no one had finished it. And that was really on me where I was like, I got into this whole mentality of let's make this so much easier on my kid
being a bit of a hypocrite right beforehand, but that was one of the growing the growing things to get this camp going where, you know, let's take them out of their their comfort zone. But also, like I said, what we all showed there with the parents and everything else to support. If I have problems with the kids, I could talk to the parents and give them another hopefully another view on things.
You know, we got to the end of it and everyone everyone graduated. You know, everyone did something pretty special in that thing. So,
you know, whether it's not in the classroom or the sports arena or work outside up, you know, as friends for each other. We need to do a little better. Yeah, you know, that what you were saying earlier about the job.
mean, like I mean, I, for me, all children have potential and half the challenges, other people seeing it. And so one of the things I really appreciate a word about what you did is, I always say the people, the people who can teach my children the best are the people who can see my children's hearts. If you can't see the hearts, you know, and I've had many, many experiences in schools, and unlike that teacher doesn't see my child, they just don't see them, they don't get the character. And if you can't see the character, you can't motivate a child. And so there's a lot of a lot of teachers like, that I've experienced, but also the opposite of these teachers with his with his incredible insight into the children that they're teaching. And when you can see it, you can you can get it, you can get get this potential, you know, and I think we as adults, right, I find if you, if you expect the best from another person, you'll get the best. But if you expect the worst, you'll get the worst. And it's, it's up to all of us to just, you know, really sort of just expect the great stuff from each other. And you know, even someone who's let you down in the past, just keep demanding better from them. And now they will step up to it, help them believe in themselves. And they will step up to it. You know, I've got a couple of different chapters and chapters in the book where I talk about that trust people first, give him a chance. And if you come into into a room with an open heart, and if I don't deserve it, that's fine. But come in with an open heart. And you'll you'll, you'll be amazed by what what people will are capable of. But we're not very good at. We're not very good at Well, I was I was I when when you were saying that I said not an open heart, but an open mind. For example, I used to have this pre judgment of your boys are their two boys. They're rambunctious. Same as with me and my brothers back in the day. And you know, Jackson said something from me before I heard him say something, the Isaac. And I say, Boy, you need to be quiet. Just sit there and be cloud, your friends and stuff, whatever the deal was. And I had this prejudgment of the whole thing. But
we went into this camp even before that, I still had the open mind, get to know them, get to know them what's going on in their lives. Or while they may be sad, this is a time to like Steve told me when he said some members don't a little insecurity or release trying to impress you with something and I never seen it that way. I just heard this boy come up and said something I'm like, What do you say? And then after that, you know, it's like all the all the kids in the car, all the kids in the camp, it was just
a lot of teachers would decide not not just teachers, a lot of people would just say I don't like this person. So I'm not going to make that extra effort. Instead of thinking, you know, this kid, you don't know this kid, he might be going home and crown and his pillow at night. Maybe they're you know, some of them are, you know, they're actinide. Because of this, you know, because of different reasons. You need to be obviously it comes with age, but you need to be because kids can be ruthless. But you need to be more open minded, you know, when it comes to their doing. And also just because if you don't then like you said some teachers never seen their hearts with the vaccine in particular. There's a lot I was funny, you said that with the team sports, you know, he just, he was on the field and he worked and stuff, but you love to boxing so much. And that side of things he loved. He loved to single sprints and beaten his own times, and he did everything 110 120% like more heart than I've probably seen in that camp. He was 100% all the time for what he wanted to do.
If I want them think and none of these boys are this, these boys are that and just left them off to the side. Which I think a lot of that happens over here. Yeah, you know, and I'm just like, you know, you need to take every kid, just give them some scores of the room to beat you'll be surprised how much more you get from, ya know, and
you know, and I think the good thing about obviously, the camp was it wasn't it wasn't cool to be about us. It wasn't cool to come in and be disruptive. It was cool to be to do better. I think that was the message that
we tried to promote. But the boys were great. And I'm glad on those episodes and a couple other kids that I kept another open mind. And there's other kids I'm still working with because we're continuing Wednesday and Saturdays a to further the kids that have went so far just keep them at that peak level that they're at. But also, you know, I really want them to keep going for a little longer because of these kids are doing stuff in school, like they're not trying their hardest in the classroom, then they're going to be running in my car. Yeah, you know, and you know, if you're if you're not doing this, then there's, you know, there's a consequence, did you purposely not do well in school or purposely getting in trouble? You're going to go to Chris's camp. He's going to make your own 100 suicides. And that's where that's gonna go. So it's a support mechanism as well from the parents, with my son Isaac as well. I've three other great sets of parents here that I know if they're in if he's in their house, they're going to keep the same level of discipline with my child as I keep with theirs and a standard of parenting, if you will.
So again, it's very, very lucky to have that here as well. Yeah, I was bringing up kids. It's a challenge
and different challenges here compared to like, if we were
raising him at homes in Australia or Northern Ireland, right? different challenges, but not 100 j one stories, ultimately the same, all you want is your kids to come out the other end and out into the world, as you know, good good citizens in the world that contribute in a positive way, you know, good souls that you know, help help their neighbors and respectful towards. So I always say you got to respect yourself first, then others, then stuff, right? I keep talking to the boys about self respect, because because if you've got self respect, you can have respect for all the other things that need respect. But I see a lot of kids coming out into the world now. They didn't get the self respect. And that I think makes your life a lot more challenging for kids, when they become adults. So So yeah, anyway, let's wrap it up. But I just want to say how grateful we are to you. And I know all the other parents completely agree with me. It was a really special experience. I think it's, it's something the boys will always remember. It not only saved our summer, because you know, we could. Steven I kept working all through the summer because we weren't going anywhere on our big adventures. But yeah, you know, but knowing that they had that three days a week, everything else was so much more relaxed. You know, they could go and have a screen time. We didn't nag you know, rather than being that seven days a week, get on the computer, get in the pool, do this, do that. None of that. Because we had that time with you. The boys loved it. And they never once moaned. It's, that's the incredible thing. It's time to go and see, for me as well, because it was very hard. It was very hard to the fact that I was there. But it was, it was great for me as well at some downtime, just to get the you know, like you say, a lot of people are getting the press from COVID. And I was one of them. I was just like, you know, I've got this downtime with the hotel on the beach cold right now. And the days are just seeming longer do I just go home, take the kids at least in Ireland, I'll get a job straight away. Or, or this, this and this. And I just thought, well, this this company that took up, you know, my days, and I did one on Tuesday and Thursday for the younger kids. And it was just for me, it was a godsend. And you know, just to be able to get out there as well, you know, and feel like you're doing something I guess you know, and yes, it was great that way. So I'm glad that kids all enjoyed it. And like I said, you know, you know a lot of these kids turn around and say, Oh, I can't do this. And I can't do that. And now they are doing it all and coming home and not complaining, you know? Yeah, so sky's the limit. Yeah, so go big, go small, but go wherever you can do whatever you always contribute. Just get involved get get stuck in solve the problem. You can say, bring the community together, if that's what you've got, you know, whatever it is, there's so many different ways you can contribute. If you're feeling down and feeling helpless. The way out is through actions. So whatever however that makes sense for you. So Thanks, Chris. And absolutely fantastic job at the boys and the girls, obviously. Thank you. But speaking, speaking as the parents of mighty rambunctious lads, appreciate it. I know we didn't we didn't even argue usually we have a couple of debates with each other, don't we? We go
so fast. Fatty knows what the hell's going on.
I know. I know. I actually really like your glasses. So you have to be from there. All right. Yeah. My red ones. I got to get a couple more pairs. If I'm going to be doing this video stuff more. Mix it up. Mix it up.
All right. Thanks. Thanks, Andrea. Appreciate you. Bye. Take care. Bye. Bye.
There you go. Thanks for listening in. I appreciate it. A huge thanks to Chris McDonald. I discovered something during during this podcast. Chris is a lot more humble than I thought he doesn't actually like the spotlight being on him. He hasn't enjoyed the parents love and accolades. He just wants to get on and do his do his thing. And I certainly understand that anyway. Thanks, Chris. Also shout out to Gary Kraus of Legends music in Phuket. If you want to get some custom tunes done for your podcast, he's very reasonable and I'm happy to make an introduction. So thanks for listening in. Until next time,